Perfectly Normal
You follow the speed limit in empty parking lots.
Overview
Congratulations, you are the human equivalent of a beige wall. You pay your taxes early, your spice rack is alphabetized, and you've never once sent a text you regretted. Your chaos level is so low that even your intrusive thoughts wear khakis. People trust you with their plants, their pets, and their passwords. You are the friend everyone calls 'the responsible one,' which is a nice way of saying 'the one who never does anything weird.' Somewhere deep inside you, there might be a spark of chaos — but it filed for a permit and is still waiting on approval.
Strengths
- People trust you with literally anything, including state secrets
- You have never once been the reason a party got shut down
- Your credit score is probably immaculate
- You are the emergency contact in every friend group
Weaknesses
- You've never had a story that starts with 'okay so this is crazy but'
- Your wildest Saturday night involves a jigsaw puzzle and herbal tea
- You sometimes get confused for a very polite robot
- FOMO hits different when your friends stop inviting you to chaos
Tips for Growth
- Try saying yes to one unplanned thing this week — your schedule will survive
- Send a text without proofreading it three times and see what happens
- The 'Do Not Touch' sign is not going to arrest you, live a little